The MoosLetter Editorials: We Just Wanna Be Herd

are written from the Cows' Point of View by Judy L Williams.



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The Divine Bovine MoosLetter Articles might make you laugh

and they might make you think     ~

They should, at least,  make you think about laughing

or laugh at what the cows are thinking.  ~


     We cows don’t have elected officials, but we do have lead cows - and the lead cow looks out for the best interest of the entire herd. She is the first to lift her head when a stranger, be it human or animal, wanders among us.

     Because she is our leader we pay attention to her actions and reactions. If she runs, we run. If she relaxes, we relax, secure in the knowledge that the one we picked to lead us experiences life, and its dangers, among us. Should anything threaten us, it threatens her as well. She eats what we eat, she rests in our pastures, and she faces the same fate as those she is charged with leading. Her leadership is earned because she has proven to be worthy of our trust, based on her past experiences and survival.

     She lives in a real pasture - here - with us - not off somewhere in a White Barn. The care she takes of us is equal to the care she takes of herself. Knowing that any decision she makes as our leader will impact her safety as well, makes it easy for us to trust her.

    Quite often a lead cow is fitted with a bell which will ring when she pops her head up if she is alarmed. If the bell rings and then quits, it tells the rest of the herd that there was a warning, but after assessing the situation, and, based on her experience, she feels no further danger. The bell no longer rings and the herd can relax. Should the bell continue to ring, we heed the alarm and flee with her, away from the danger.

     People could learn a lot from cows. For example:

     The President of the United States is the "lead cow", charged with taking care of the whole herd of people living here. Hell, he’s expected to protect the whole world. He’s doing what he can to work toward his wish for world peace, but it’s a tough job that hasn’t yet been accomplished.

     While I do think his wish for world peace would place him in top contention for the Miss America Contest, I don’t think simply wishing for it qualifies him for the Nobel Peace Prize, which he recently received. I’m ignorant of the criteria for receiving this prestigious award, but I would think that simply wishing for peace should not supercede acts that actually lead toward that goal. And, this is a scary thought, maybe there were no other qualifying candidates, which would really be alarming. I mean, if one who simply wishes is the winner, how bad were the losers? Is no one doing anything toward this goal?

     The big difference between the President of the United States and our lead cows is this: He doesn’t live among those with whom he is charged to protect. He lives in a guarded house, surrounded by security whose job is to protect him. So, the President is protected, rather then being the protector. Not much of a lead cow.

     What the people of the United States need in a leader is more of the lead-cow attitude. They need someone who has to watch his own ass, and by doing so, watches theirs. What they should do is to make him and his constituents vulnerable BECAUSE of their decisions, rather than EXEMPT FROM THEM - as is the case in health insurance coverage and in social security.

     They should put a bell around the President’s neck like some ranchers do with their lead cows. Then if the people hear the bell ringing because the President is in danger, they’ll know to take cover. If the bell stops ringing, they’ll relax - in peace. ... "No Bell Peace". Then he will deserve the prize.

     People could learn a lot from cows.

"Remember, if we don’t see you in the pasture, we’ll see you in the future"


There's No One Else To Blame:

All parodies, lyrics and original music were written and recorded by Judy L Williams

All lead vocals* and harmonies were performed and recorded by Judy, as was all the music. 

The promotional material, packaging and CDs were designed, created, duplicated

and printed by Little Prints Charming, owned and operated by Judy L Williams.

(*An exception to this is in the song "The Neighbor's Bovines" on which the male bovine part

was performed by Rick Ellison.  Rick accepts none of the blame.)

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