The MoosLetter Editorials: We Just Wanna Be Herd

are written from the Cows' Point of View by Judy L Williams.


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The Divine Bovine MoosLetter Articles might make you laugh ~

     And they might make you think ~

          They should, at least,  make you think about laughing ~

               Or laugh at what the cows are thinking.  ~



     One evening Mr. Rancher was at an event where guests were welcomed and drinks and dinner were served.

     During the dinner conversation, Ms. Guest, who talked incessently about her horses, revealed that she had brought them to Montana from California without having them inspected. She complained loudly about the "rude" stock inspector who quarantined her pets due to her negligence in bringing them to our state without proper vaccinations. - Imagine!  She talked about her tack and other "horse-y" things. She kept the rest of the diners from having to suffer from that embarrassing silence often endured at these dinners.

     Mr. Rancher, who is very patient, listened politely to Ms. Guests' horse tirade.

     Suddenly Mr. Rancher felt a little uncomfortable when he realized that he had forgotten to remove his hat at the table. He, being a gentleman, knew he should remove it, but didn't want to touch his new Silver Belly Stetson at that point because he had been enjoying the appetizers - finger food - deep fried Rocky Mountain Oysters. (Incidentally, they are not made from the bulls' fingers.)

     He apologized to Ms. Guest for his breach of etiquette, at which time she leaped at the opportunity to question him about his horses, because, after all, he had started the conversation with his apology.  He said "Yes" he had horses, and "No", he didn't want to share their names, explaining instead, "Our horses are like tools. We value them, we use them when we need them and we don't abuse them. We treat them well, as we know we'll have to use them again."  That about summed up his "horse-y" talk.

Ms. Guest was left a little wanting, and suggested that maybe if he paid more attention to his horses, he'd be more qualifed to wear that hat he was sporting.

     Now MRS. Rancher was sitting nearby, and being one who is not used to being on the listening end of the conversation, had heard all the "horse-y" talk she could stand. Having had her fill of both nuts and Ms. Guest, and knowing that Mr. Rancher was about full up, too, she felt it was her wifely duty to put a stop to Ms. Guest's filibuster.

     She politely wiped the grease off her chin, pointed her finger at Mr. Rancher's hat and said "that's a COWboy hat, not a horse boy hat".

     Ms. Guest moved to another table for the main dish and Mr. Rancher smiled appreciatively at Mrs. Rancher as they enjoyed their steak dinner in peace and quiet.

     "Cowboys - without cows, they'd just be boys".

...  Remember, if I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.....

There's No One Else To Blame:

All parodies, lyrics and original music were written and recorded by Judy L Williams

All lead vocals* and harmonies were performed and recorded by Judy, as was all the music. 

The promotional material, packaging and CDs were designed, created, duplicated

and printed by Little Prints Charming, owned and operated by Judy L Williams.

(*An exception to this is in the song "The Neighbor's Bovines" on which the male bovine part

was performed by Rick Ellison.  Rick accepts none of the blame.)

NEXT: MoosLetter #5: No Bell Peace Prize